Facing Fear is the Easy Part

Photo by alphaspirit/iStock / Getty Images
Photo by alphaspirit/iStock / Getty Images

I'm really brave! Really super heroically brave...when I'm ready to be. Once I recognize that I'm afraid of something, I face it. Facing a fear is the easy part. The hard part is admitting it's a fear, getting past the denial of it. 

We deny when a fear is so great we can't even admit to ourselves it's a fear.

I was in denial of my issues with food for about 18 years before I was able to begin facing them. Despite being diagnosed as Bulimic by doctors, going in and out of eating disorder clinics, exercising so much I had stress fractures, and adapting to different versions of obsession with my diet and appearance, I was unable to admit to myself that I had a problem. It was far too scary to go anywhere near that Pandora's box. Eventually I was just "dieting" all the time because that was "normal".

It wasn't until I dated a man who happened to have a healthy relationship with food that I began to see through my protective fog. That same man was a severe alcoholic. While we were breaking up, I felt like I was looking in a mirror. It was my wake-up call. We were both addicts. I realized that if I ever wanted to be happy, I had to work through my addiction. Less than two years after I chose to face my fear, I healed it. It was no longer a fear.

Lifting the veil of denial is the most important step in beginning the healing process of any addiction.

See if you can take an honest look at yourself. Is there something you're ready to begin to heal?

Denial is not all bad. It protects us. It ensures that we don't take on more than we can handle. The strange thing about denial is that we don't really get to choose when its fog lifts. It just happens, magnificently, gloriously, when we're ready. Wherever you are in your process, you are exactly where you need to be. Trust that. We don't always get to choose our circumstances, but we do get to choose how we respond to them. We can accept them or not. You're on your way to where you're going. In fact, we're only ever on our way.